“Don’t quit. Feel good and have sex”

We don’t live in a perfect world unfortunately. There will be times when a hot woman will want to have sex with you and you will be sick. Whether it’s a booty call or a chick you found at the bar (alcohol kills germs, so it kills sick too, right?), it sucks. But sex is awesome, so you need to figure out a way to soldier up and get laid. It might not be the best sex you’ll ever have, but it will still be sex. To fight the nausea that will probably pop up try these four things before you go to O town.

Setup Your Room

When you’re not feeling so well and you’re about to get it on there are a few things that you’ll need in your room to keep yourself as comfortable as possibly. Hot rooms will make you feel more nauseous, so keep a fan going. Pointing it at you will give you the feeling of fresh air as well. As much as you might not want to, you should clean your place while you’re at it. Gross smells are a fast trigger to throwing up all over her.

Soothe That Gut

“Don’t panic. It can happen with anyone”

Feeling a few bouts of puking will be normal during your illness, so when you start to feel them, calm it down and take deep breaths. This will quell whatever weird mix is going on in your stomach. When deep breathing isn’t doing the trick, bust out the Pepto. Over the counter medicines like Pepto-Bismol are made for nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea. None of those things are sexy or even remotely comfortable, so just breakdown and buy yourself some medicine. The cost is worth it if it makes you feel better.

Eat or Drink It Away

An age old remedy for feeling like crap is to eat a bunch of crackers. Plain saltines seem to work well because they’re just about the blandest food that you can get. Other foods that will help fill you up without making a reappearance are broccoli, peanuts, bananas, applesauce, any other bland food (low spices and no fat). Drink things like peppermint tea and ginger ale. Eating or drinking will keep your stomach from cramping and spasming, so you’ll end up feeling good enough to go at least one round in the sack.

Just Do It

Sometimes when all else fails you just need to go to the bathroom and puke. It’s not pretty, and you’re definitely going to have to brush your teeth before you go back to your lady, but it most likely will make you feel better. When you’re sick, it’s your body’s way of fighting off something that’s bad for you, so why not help it out? Hopefully you’ll get the whole process moving along faster, anyway. But besides the long term affect, you’ll get all of that stomach rot out and feel better in the moment.

Seriously though, brush your teeth when you’re done. She’ll be able to smell it (and probably taste it), even if you can’t.